April always makes me feel different. It isn't because the 17th, but something that I don't expect before. I don't talk about suprise, more than that, I describe my freak's April. Yap, I guess I'll put April on my damn-hate-month's list, beside December. 1st April I got bad news, my grand mother diagnosed cancer by the doctor, and soon she'll face her first chemotherapy. I never know that I'll be so sad, because I didn't have a 'close' relationship with my grand mother. I was so sad because I saw my mother cried for her mom. "Be taff, Mom".
Then, a half to go to the middle of April, I've decide to out of my social network's acc. Maybe I didn't know why I try to cover my life for my self alone, but so far I feel okay, for how long, hmm we'll see. One thing surely, I've been learning about my self by being so selfish (ignore people), I cover anything about my life alone, ya this is the way I prepare my self to face anything.
In the midle of April, yesterdey, my friends asked me to go to place I (hope I can) forget on this end of April. Then, how easy this thing could be so confuses me. Dilemma. In the other side, I miss that city who ever be my favorite one, but I don't wanna make my self soluble for a thausand memories there. "My self: came on, Thar, you've been a half way to leave it. Be wise!" "I'll think it twice, dear my self".