Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Be honest!

"When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."

When the film started, I knew, I'm gonna fall in love with this film. And it proved by my biggest smile at the beginning of the film. Guys, it's airport! You know I get addicted to that place everytime I watch it. Well, actually I downloaded this film about three or four days ago. I'm not really interested to watch it because I had a lot of to-do's list lately. But, apparently, that to-do's list brought me to one conclusion: I have to consume little interlude. And ya, here I go!

I won't make such like film review here, because I know, when people watched the love story film, they must have their own side and I don't wanna interupt that. But,one thing I want you to know from this film, it's not about the first or second opportunity you have, but, it's about whenever you let yourself say anything honestly, everything is going right. Even if you hurt eventually, believe me, that hurt will never beat your satisfied for being honest.

Its about four weeks to Christmas eve,
and because its going to be a nice Christmas I had ever expected,
I ask you, if you guys want to tell me something,
maybe you don't know when the right time to be honest with me, well.. it's time!
skype me (dutari.sitorus)
YM me (sdutari)
or anything...
Just choose your own way!
And, promise, I'll appreciate anything you've said

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Wednesday, November 23, 2011


There comes a time in your life when you finally get it, but also there comes a time in your life when you just get the point of it..

This morning, I'm thinking of someone. Someone that I've been waiting for. Someone who made me couldn't find an answer for one question. When I try to figure it out, I always curious why don't you just leaving like you said? And, suddenly, the question that been running in my mind slapped me. It forces me to look back and give me a question back, "See, after going trough some choices, why did you(me) still hold your old choice?" Then, I answer, "consideration". Everyone has a right for that, so do I, so do him. I have my own perception, so do him. Well, thank you for someone who gave me a point eventually.

-See you in another chapter, N!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Now and then

You have to endure caterpillars if you want to see butterflies..

It's not about what you have to do to get what you want in the future. Simplier, it's just about the phase. Which phase that must be passed before the next phase happens. Maybe we used to be aware with the present, like one of Buddha quotes, "The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly." But, we couldn't ignore that there's a time when you can't handle how far your mind goes, when you're curious about something out of the present. And ya, it's happening to me now.

Today I get married invitation from one of my friends. This's is the first married invitation in my life. Surprised? Sure! I'm 21 years old, and married is one of cheesy things that out of my lists. I don't mean to not regard married as honor. I knew, it's holy thing, just like Bible said. But, hey, are you kidding me? We're too young to think about that, even to do that! I don't know why people make their life turn into a complicated situation? If you're married, you have to wake up in the morning to take care your kids, stole your 'me time', waiting your hubby to come home, and the worst ever is involved with the law when you decided to divorce. Could you imagine that?

Then, here I was, tried to make up my mind after someone older told me, "There's no one school in this earth that prepared their student to enter married life. Just like a death, there's no one know what would be happen after that. The only way to figure it out is jumped off in to it by yourself, and before that, you have to get in to every step." Well, now I got it!

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Saturday, November 19, 2011

Good in goodbye, hell in hello?

Just roll the dice and see what happen! Because wherever it brings you, you'll find the lights that gonna guide you 'home'!

As a writer in one of campus magazines, I used to deal with the deadline. I knew how it feels when I had to decide what I have to do to beat the deadline. And surely, I also knew how it feels when I got my goal right before the deadline. In last two years, it happened every month, again and again. I ever passed it well, either failed sometimes. But, I always have a thought that I'll fix it next month. "I'm gonna do the same thing now, I knew where's my fault, I'll try an inovation to pay for", that's it what I did every begining of the month. Time rotates in the same shaft, and it makes me think, "Yes, I'll always have an opportunity".

Now, it's time to regeneration. There're writers who would replace me. The first word that came out of my mouth, "Phew!". I did it. For two years. But, I never imagined I'd stand on this intersection. "I don't know the how to start a new thing, I don't know which part that must be fixed, I have no idea at all". Then, here comes a point in my mind, people are scared of what would happen next if they decided a choice that haven't they took before. But, have you ever imagined a triangle in a ball? When the triangle rotates in the ball for the first time, every tips of the triangle would destroy everything that they passed by, even the ball. And when the triangle rotates for the second time, it would be more easier because the triangle have made their own shaft. And you know what, that's the time when you found the lights that guide you 'home'.

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Monday, November 14, 2011


Dedicate for the best woman in my life. Happy birthday!

I miss it, when everything could be happen in simply ways, when everything seems like an easy puzzle, and when everything could be solved by my mom's hug.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

You're going on your own!

You know, the fact that you have to deal everyday with the unknown makes that you are obliged to “let it go”!

Sometimes, I curious, why people prefer to travel alone when they getting fed up with their life? I haven't travelled alone before, but I know how it feels to be involved in a trip, obviously fun. So, is travel alone would make you more fun 'till you could ignore your problems or even change your mindset? Well, I knew that travelling is such a way to refresh your mind, maybe that's why you can think clearly after you back. But I still have no idea how the affect of travel alone 'till it could be the right choice for someone who feels heartache, confusing between two guys, or maybe stuck with their life. How do you find the answer when you're busy to learn everything as stranger in somewhere? And now, I got the point.

One of my friend said, "It was always different from home and I found that travelling alone was kind of like an initiatic journey". Honestly, what he said makes me sure that travelling alone would be so challenge me. Then, I ask him about my fear to be stranger, he answered, "You'll learn self confidence, and also lost a lot of the fear of being in new an uncertain situations once you tried". I'm not sure about travelling alone, desperately hesitate. But, finally, I buy that bloody ticket and soon will get myself out there. He said, "You will not regret a moment of it!!"

What makes me buy the tickets is because I want that uncertain situation. A moment when I try to accept whatever will be, a moment when I always ready for anything in front of me, a moment when I have to open myself for new things or people, and also a moment when I know that 'even though my window is broken but I'm standing on my feet'. Then, the loneliness will be overwhelming! I can't wait for that which is would be happen in several months ahead!!

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Friday, November 11, 2011


There's a will, there's a way..
There's a way, there must be stop sign..

Guess you familiar with those quotes, at least for the the first quote, because the second was only my creation. Just like a travel, who doesn't like travelling? It seems like anyone hobby nowadays. If I ever wrote in my blog before, that I'd love to enjoy airport situasion, now I'll say that so do with what would happen next: travelling. I'm kinda so excited for that! I choose my destination, leave my town, feel the different, and live what I want.

But, have you ever planned something ridiculous? Like traveling to somewhere alone, without certain destination, you just follow where stepped foot, even being stranger. Well, it's not impossible. Because the only impossible journey is the one you never start! So, here you go, wherever you go, is it a certain destination or not, I bet you'll stop somewhere to enjoy the nature, have a little rest, or even look back. Then, at that time, you'll know how far you've been gone and decide what would you do: continue, stay or be back.

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Thursday, November 10, 2011

Easy when I want and hard when I need

(but, keeps looking for what you need excatly then fight for that!)

In last one month, there're about six or seven of my friends who told me, "I just read your blog. Wow surprising me! I never imagined you'd write something interesting...". Ya, I wish I can reply them this: So, is this message was the way you say that am not good at all, even writing something?". But, easy, I won't do that lol. Then, they also asked me, "I hope I can put my comment on those posts but seems it isn't allowed I thought".

And.. great. They succeeded to affect me. Yesterday I had plan to use another blog website eventually. Why? Because I think my blog would be more great if there was any comment. So, I looked for some blog websites which offer me easy way to receive comment from other, even he/she doesn't follow me. I found one. But, I changed my mind after my last convo with my friend. She said, "I think I have to stepback from those guys. I need time to find what excatly I need. I need space to be alone and thinking".

Yep. She's involved in some relationships. Once, her friend told her, "I think you're lost now. You don't know what excatly you need". And those words made her realized something that her friend just right. She needs time to find something worth to fight. Well, sometimes, we keep fighting to reach anything we want. Guess you know how much people wants! And finally, it makes you lose your focus on what you need.

So, here I am. I don't need any comment. What I need is I can write what I feel honestly. I don't care about what I wrote because I don't know who would read it. This blog is just my voice within. That's it.

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Monday, November 07, 2011


"You never knew how evil someone 'till he/she did something in the name of revenge."

I never imagined if I'd be so drama today. I thought I'll pass this week with busy days. But, who knows?
I just had little convo my friend. He tried to tell me something that he had buried for a long time. He cried. Even though I'm not sure about the cause but I could see how hurt he was. He said, "I have no idea how to tell, I have no words, and I think this(crying) all that I can do eventually".

Well, as line as my instinct drama, the right sentence is sometimes tears speak louder than mouth. They just replace the mouth when mouth says, "I am done. It's too much!". I bet you ever felt like don't-know-what-to-do when everything ask you to take an action. Simply, it's like Windows Task Manager on your computer, when you ask the computer to do too much things, the computer will stop working and doing nothing.

I am not say that we just the same with the computer. No with big capital N! I mean, sometimes you have to note that when you hurt someone, he/she can do something bigger than "stop working". Because what? We are human! We have feeling, emotion, anything sencitive thing. You never know how deep scars you made on him/her. And the worst one, you never imagined how tricky someone when he/she decided to revenge. So, be careful to treat someone.

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